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Emotional intelligence refers to ‘’the ability to judge and manage one’s own emotions and others”. Abraham Maslow first used the term Emotional intelligence in the 1950s. It refers to the potential to access and manage one’s own emotions according to the environment. According to some experts, emotional intelligence can be learned, but some say it is an inborn ability.

The potential to control one’s own emotions is necessary, but knowing how to judge and respond to others behaviour is also crucial. Imagine a friend suffering from stress and anxiety, and you are unaware of it. Indeed, psychologists suggest that the role of Emotional Intelligence in your life’s success is more than IQ.

Who first used the term Emotional Intelligence?

Firstly, two researchers Peter Salovey and John Mayer, used the term Emotional Intelligence in their article for the Journal Imagination, Cognition and Personality in 1990. While they were studying the link between emotions and thoughts. Later Dan Goleman used it in his book Emotional Intelligence in 1996.

Attributes of Emotional Intelligence:

1-Self-Awareness: Emotionally intelligent people are good at judging others and have a deep sense of self-awareness. In fact, they know how to tackle their emotional drives, feelings and behaviour and manage them in a composed way. For instance, these people are aware of their strengths and weakness. They believe in themselves and have self-confidence.

How to improve self-awareness:

  • Ask for constructive feedbacks
  • Make a positive mindset
  • Do positive talks with yourself
  • Practice Mindfulness
  • Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions
  • Pursue you passions
  • Think logically about every situation

 2-Self-Management: As we all know, a common saying ‘’Don’t be a slave to your emotions control them’’ Self-management is the key to a happy life. Emotions are temporary, and one must take control over them. Managing and taking control of emotions, feelings, and behaviours is crucial for spending an organized life.

  How to improve self-management:

  • Accept your emotions
  • Think of yourself in that situation and analyze how you would react.
  • Practice your communication skills
  • Practice Mindfulness
  • Pay attention to your emotional drives

 3-Empathy: The most significant part of Emotional Intelligence is empathy. Indeed, Empathy means putting one’s self in someone else shoes, having a feeling of kindness and concern for others, and understanding their situation. In fact, Emotionally intelligent people think by putting themselves in their place and analyze how would they react. It means giving extra care and concern to the people. Listen to everything they say verbally or through body language. They maintain good eye contact for more alertness.

How to improve empathy:

  • Share your feelings
  • Talk to others
  • Put yourself in their situation
  • Ready to show care and concern
  • Engage with others

4-Motivation: Self-motivation can open hard doors easily. Precisely Self-motivation means, reminding oneself that you’re unique and you can accomplish your goals, instead of running for fame and money, one seeks internal peace. This creates a strong passion for pursuing their goals and achievements. Remember, self-motivation is the key to success, and without it, you cannot achieve your goals. Those who have this ability never sit idle and are always looking for opportunities to get a win.

How to stay motivated:

  • Analyze yourself
  • Set small goals
  • Celebrate your success
  • Work with a friend or co-worker for accountability.

 5- Social Skills: Building good social interactions is one of the critical requirements of surviving in society. Interacting and communicating with others allows a person to excel in his relations and work environments. Social skills include good verbal and non-verbal communication skills and showing persuasiveness.

How to improve social skills and relationship management:

  • Show interest in communication
  • Practice good communication skills
  • Focus on body language
  • Try ice-breakers for starting conversations
  • Practice your social skills
  • Maintain good eye contact

Why is Emotional Intelligence important?

‘’If you can control yourself, you can handle anything, which means mastery over our emotions is very important. Further more, our IQ may help us excel through our college or school life. However, Emotional Intelligence allows one to control stress, anxiety and manage oneself in hard times and stress conditions. Indeed, IQ is essential but having a sense of Emotional Intelligence alongside IQ helps in massive excellence in all life paths.

Additionally, it is scientific research that emotions lead to thoughts. Thus, it can alter brain functioning, so having a positive mindset and self-control is very important to lead a good life.

At a personal level, Emotional Intelligence helps us in controlling ourselves, getting self-awareness, managing relationships, and learning social skills.

At the work or community level, it helps resolve conflicts, develop care and concern for others, listen and communicate with them, and not blaming others for any loss.

Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent People:

There are many vital characteristics of Emotionally intelligent people. As a matter of fact, they are also known as change agents. Their key characters are as follows:

  • Motivate Others: These people motivate others and listen to their concerns through verbal or non-verbal communications or body language.
  • Manage their Emotions: The most important quality they have is controlling their emotional drives and not becoming a slave of their feelings.
  • Knowing Oneself: To know oneself, also known as self-awareness, is also a quality found in these people. They are in search of constructive feedback and build a positive mindset.
  • Stay Calm: Taking authority over emotions and feelings allows them to stay calm and make decisions without any quick response.
  • Control Impulses: Controlling impulse and delaying gratification is also an important quality found in these change agents.
  • Empathize others: Showing empathy means giving extra care and concern to the people suffering from stress and anxiety.
  • Not Perfectionists: These people prefer pursuing their goals and not falling prey to fame and money. They follow their passion, not the world.
  • Maintaining a balance: Maintaining a balance in their thoughts and emotions makes them different and unique from others. Symmetry in life is essential and leads to healthy and sound mental and physical health.

Effects of Emotional Intelligence:

1- Performance at work and School: High emotional intelligence can also help one excel at the workplace and school level. At work, it allows a person to stay calm and resolve conflicts efficiently. Emotional intelligence is nowadays preferred at workplaces as controlling one’s thoughts, and emotional drives are critical. In fact, some companies also organize an EQ test before hiring employees.

According to a survey in 2019, 52 per cent of organizations

 hired employees based on their Emotional Intelligence. Emotional intelligence enables a person to comprehend, solve conflicts at the workplace and improve the quality of work at the intra-personal level.

In another survey conducted in 2019, 73 per cent of the non-supervisory employees in China think that emotional intelligence will become a must-have skill. Emotional intelligence relates to the capability for people to perceive, comprehend and control emotions in everyday life to improve the quality of interpersonal coordination.

2-Physical heath:

If you can’t manage your stress, you can’t probably live healthily. Indeed, stress and anxiety lead to many health problems and raise blood pressure; this increases heart risks. Controlling such harmful mind conditions is very important. In fact, Emotional intelligence aids in this regard. Emotional intelligence helps manage and balance one’s thoughts and emotions by eradicating stress to stay calm. Lower stress levels help in living a healthier and happier life.

3-Mental Health: Struggling with thoughts and emotions can lead to mental issues. In fact, stress, anxiety and problems related to mental health can be due to a lack of patience and self-management. Additionally, emotional intelligence teaches us how to stay managed and keep calm in frustrating situations. Maintaining good mental health is crucial for a good life.

4-Relationships: Maintaining a balance in relationships is also crucial. If truth be told, for this purpose an excellent verbal and non-verbal communication and knowledge about understanding body language is necessary. Additionally, maintaining eye contact is also an essential tool. Emotional intelligence aids in maintaining a relationship balance.

5-Social Intelligence: Keeping a balance between emotions and thoughts helps to excel socially. In fact, emotional intelligence helps in the control of stress. It also enables a person to recognize friends and enemies increasing social communication, thus leading to good relations.

What does Research say?

People with average IQ levels outperform those with High IQ levels 70% of the time. WHY? According to researchers, your IQ is called ‘’Intelligence Quotient’’ is an inborn ability, but Emotional intelligence (EQ) can be increased and practiced with time. In a recent survey, 29 physicians made a report in a tenure of 3 years and found a strong relationship between Empathy and a positive rate of success.

According to studies, IQ is related to more success at an academic level. However, newer studies suggest that Emotional Intelligence is crucial in relationship management and job success rate. As controlling oneself and having self-awareness is the need of the hour.

Both kinds of intelligence affect your activities at different scales. Having a good combination of these abilities, i-e IQ and EQ guarantees a higher success rate.

Also read: The only thing that makes you unhappy are your own thoughts.

Why there is a need for Emotional Intelligence:

Over the past two decades, kids are becoming more depressed and lonely. Moreover, they are becoming disobedient and Impulsive. Children can experience different behavioural changes and fall prey to anxiety.  What are some possible causes? Nowadays, parents are busy with their work schedules. Indeed, both parents work and give less time to their children. Children spend most of their time gaming and in front of computers. Therefore, training in Emotional Intelligence is also necessary. Children must practice emotional intelligence to gain confidence and awareness to build strong relationships and learn self-management.

5 Reasons Schools should teach Emotional Intelligence:

School is the primary educative and grooming centre of a person. In fact, practicing Emotional intelligence should be made compulsory at the school level, as the person never forgets the lessons learnt at school.

  • Learning emotional intelligence at school will enable students to experience a healthier state of mind. Getting rid of emotional stress and not falling prey to anxiety.
  • Children will develop deeper relations with others and know how to manage their connections.
  • Improvement in physical health is a crucial benefit of Emotional Intelligence and will help eradicate stress conditions. Lower stress levels will automatically boost sleeping and eating habits.
  • More practical Leadership skills will be learnt when children will practice how to stay calm in frustrating situations and refrain from blaming others in case of any loss.
  • Also, for a successful life, a better Emotional Intelligence is more crucial than good IQ levels because emotions control thoughts. Controlling feelings helps in managing the thought process. It assists us in taking a step to a healthy life.

Also read: What is psychology behind quiet, introverted people? How are the different from extroverts?

Emotional Intelligence and Leadership:

What comes to your mind when you think of a great leader? One who never loses his temper. One who always stays calm and never blames anyone for his loss. Yes, these are the qualities of Good leaders found in Emotionally intelligent people. Emotional Intelligence and Leadership abilities go side by side. Having control over one’s emotions and thoughts enables one to stay calm in every situation. Leadership skills at professional and workplace require staying peaceful in frustrating conditions without blaming others for the loss. According to a survey in 2019,36, per cent of executives think that Emotional Intelligence will become a must-skill in the coming one to three years. In another study in 2019, 42 per cent of organizations worldwide announced that they implement training on emotional intelligence for their management.  As leadership is not domination, it is an art of persuading people to strive for a common goal.

Must Read: Never believe you are above or below anyone. Keep a humble spirit.

Take away:

It is an undeniable fact that some people are born with a gift of Emotional Intelligence. However, others have to indulge their efforts and learn it. Understanding and analysing yourself and gaining self-confidence is essential. Emotional intelligence is crucial and has no less importance than IQ in personal and practical life. EI can be a game-changer for excelling in leadership skills and personal development. Start practicing Emotional intelligence and take a step towards your triumphant life goals.