Angry people are difficult to deal with. They can be an emotional drain on their surroundings and everyone in them. Your best bet is to remember that anger is a symptom of something else and that there are always other ways of approaching the problem than yelling. In this article we are going to discuss about “how to deal with anger”.
Here’s how you can deal with anger or angry people:
- Refrain from taking it personally, no matter how much they insist that it is your fault or demand you fix it.
- Stay calm and focused on the task at hand or you’ll respond in kind by becoming agitated yourself which make things worse.
- Think about what the angry person is really saying to you, not just their outrageous accusations. Ask yourself why they are yelling at you or want to punish you.
- Consider whether the things they are demanding are needed. Are they a necessity? Is there another way of doing it?
Don’t insist on taking part in the conflict even if it is your fight. Explain why you need to be left alone and leave them alone if they can give no satisfactory answer. If they don’t get it, walk away.
Look for common ground with them: Is there anything that both of you agree on? Try making a list, dividing responsibilities, or finding common acceptable solutions. This may happen especially when you are living with your roommate or in a workspace.
9 Ways to Deal with Angry People
Anger is a natural human emotion, one that many people struggle to control. Too often, anger builds inside and erupts in an angry outburst. What’s worse is when the person you’re dealing with is angry about something that has nothing to do with you. Here are 10 ways to deal with anger or angry people:
1) Walk Away
Sometimes walking away from a conflict without giving them the opportunity to argue will be a solution. If they’re making an unnecessary scene at the supermarket or at your desk, just leave! Make their way back there later and explain why it was wrong. That should calm things down significantly (or if not, just remember that next time).
2) Give Them Any Space
When faced with an angry person, physically move away from them. Don’t allow them to have their say and don’t engage in any conversation. Pull your phone out so that they can see you aren’t listening to them. If they still persist, just walk away again without saying a word.
3) Explain Why You Feel the Way You Do
If you’ve been wronged and someone is trying to invalidate your feelings, explain why you feel the way you do and give examples of how it has affected your life (if applicable).
4) Apologize for Your Part
You don’t have to apologize for the issue at hand, but you do have to say you’re sorry. If they’re upset because of something that was your fault and you didn’t apologize, do it now.
5) Be Smart
Learn to say “Sorry”! Say sorry if they want to hear that from you. If they want an apology, because they want to feel higher than you, then give them a one. Your sorry doesn’t mean you are lower than them, but you are smarter than them. Once they get your simply “sorry” their anger may disappear.
6) Don’t Get Defensive
Try to explain what you did, but don’t try to make the situation about you. The only time it is okay to defend yourself is if they are making false accusations against you. If the issue is over something unrelated to you, stay calm and don’t play into their negativity.
7) Be Clear About What You Expect
If your anger isn’t based on anything real, tell them exactly what is bothering you so that they can stop doing it (if it’s fixable).
8) Be Clear About What You Feel and Why
It’s easy for an angry person to invalidate your feelings because they aren’t aware of them or because they think you’re being irrational. Be as clear as possible.
9) Expect Them to Change
Anger is a temporary emotion. If it’s directed towards you, it will soon dissipate. If their behavior continues, the anger will eventually turn into rage and he might do something to hurt you. Consider whether they’re acting naturally or if they’re being angry for another reason altogether (i.e., a setback in life).
If you identify with any of these approaches, remember that the best thing you can do is stay calm and friendly. Don’t overreact or let them see the anger inside you.
Why is it hard to Face Angry People?
The answer is anger and fear.
An angry person may seem like a dangerous creature, but in reality, he or she is mostly just scared. Scared of what might happen if they act out on their anger, scared of losing control over themselves or someone else, scared that they’ll never be able to do anything right again. That’s why it’s hard for them to face other people – because, in all honesty, they’re afraid you might challenge their frail hold on the world.
They don’t want to suffer the humiliation of having people see them squirm. Of having someone tell them things they don’t want to hear. Afraid of being told they’re wrong or that they’re misunderstood, they’d rather not deal with you at all, and so they turn their anger on you.